On the run up to Christmas we harassed Mother Nature for snow, those awful, awful Christmas songs were on repeat; “oh the weather outside is frightful…I’m dreaming of a white Christmas…” and somewhere up there she listened, oh boy did she listen, she went into the toiletry cupboard and came back out with a pillow of the highest tog, the biggest one imaginable in fact and she went on to do battle with the angels, “…so they want snow.”
And then it fell, like the pillow from the heavens done burst and all the feathers came down, God must have a sore neck!
Wheels spun, knees snapped, windows scraped, ankles broke, engines spluttered, pedestrians have been walking on the roads, cars have been driving on the pavements, thumbs have refused to meet pinkies and some trains even de-railed!
We begged her for a white Christmas but instead we got a frosty reception. What sort of Mother is she?
***
In an ideal world, our roads and pavements would come equipped with heating underneath them! I was thinking something similar to the under floor heating technology which is often seen on Grand Designs, that would do nicely, and as far-fetched as it may seem, I think it would solve almost every transport problem that this recent bad weather has thrown at us.
As for the Christmas songs, well, maybe we should be careful what we...
It's The Daily...the media call it the big freeze, I just call it a pain in the arse!
- Lighten Up
- A Bone To Pick With Bic
- Whose Crew Are You On?
- You Wouldn't Want a Warm one Would Ya?
- Lighten Up
I met Ray Mears in a bar the other day but he fucked off in a bad mood, because every two minutes I kept asking him for a light!! That's what happens when I make up jokes!
- A Bone To Pick With Bic
Bic are the Kings of all things disposable! They make disposable pens, disposable lighters, disposable razors and canoes! Yes, Bic, the Kings of all things disposable also make canoes, honestly, CANOES! How did that happen? Because a canoe doesn’t exactly fit in with their product range does it?
Did they get fed up of making disposable bookie pens and say, “you know what, let’s make canoes?” Great idea! Only problem is, you are meant to feel safe in a bloody canoe and with a £600 price tag it certainly isn’t, by any means, a disposable product.
I was very surprised and humoured to see a canoe made by Bic, it does exist and it looks like an over sized disposable pen with a hole in the middle for a person, perhaps it was a factory reject or something I don’t know. One thing’s for sure though, you wouldn’t catch me in it!
Six hundred quid you say, well, you’d need a little more than disposable income to purchase that. Har Har!
- Whose Crew Are You On?
A little plug goes a long way, check this out :
http://www.the-crews.co.uk/player.html
- You Wouldn't Want a Warm one Would Ya?
If this weather is good for one thing it's making a beer cold, don't believe me, toss your can into the snow and find out for yourself. Not too far though, you want to get it back mind!
jesus that's a hell of a lot of perfume the girl next to me is wearing...jesus that's a hell of a lot of perfume the girl next to me is wearing...jesus that's a hell of a lot of perfume the girl next to me is wearing...
No comments:
Post a Comment