The Daily Dott - Tuesday

C’mon, give me some ‘slack’, I hardly watch television or read the newspapers so I should be forgiven for thinking that Gary Glitter was really getting executed last night, after all, it was a very well ‘executed’ and convincing mockumentary that Channel 4 showed.

In case you missed it, ‘The Execution of Gary Glitter’ was a drama set in an imaginary Britain where capital punishment is brought back and Glitter is the first to be ‘shown the ropes.’

It’s quite frightening that I actually sat there thinking it was real, "hang on a minute....they're executing Gary Glitter!!!"

Just as well I never rounded up the neighbours and invited them all in to watch it, they would think I don’t have a head on my shoulders or something.

It’s the Daily...I know you play for the Rocks Michael but I’m beginning to think you live under one too.


-Don’t join this club
-Bag packing
-Lessons On The Old River


-Don’t join this club

Note to self: Don’t bring a chocolate biscuit on your next date.

It started with a question before we met up; I asked her if she believed in magic and she replied no, of course if she said yes, then this whole thing wouldn’t have worked.

So I now had her exactly where I wanted her.

All I needed now was something to give her.

So we got chatting about favourites, films, music, you know the routine and she told me her favourite biscuit was a Fox Classic.

Perfect, I thought. Nice biscuit, too.

I asked her again, do you believe in magic and again she replied no.

Yes, yes, yes.

So here I am now getting ready for this date and I decide that the thing I am going to magic to her is none other than her favourite chocolate biscuit, a Fox Classic.

Don’t try this at home, kids.

I have the melting biscuit in my back pocket and her melting enthusiasm on my mind, perfect time for a trick, I thought.

Do you believe in magic? No.

I ask her to cover her eyes and I pull out the magic biscuit from my pocket, “open your eyes” I say, as if my name is David Blaine and this is Street Magic.

She opens them and laughs, taking her favourite biscuit from me.

After the date, I never heard from the girl again.

Oh well, got to risk it for a biscuit as they say.


-Bag packing

I must admit, my initial reaction to the fact that instead of playing basketball on Saturday we would be back packing to raise money was similar to that of Allen Iverson’s views on missing a practice - bemusement and disgust.

“We talkin’ about bag packing, not the game that I love, not the game that I go out and bust my ass for, not the game that I play hard for every night, we talkin’ about bag packing, bag packing, we talkin’ about bag packing man, not the game, not the game....”

I was frustrated that we were now missing our fourth training session in a row because of this bag packing nonsense and I was being very incorrigible about the whole thing.

Instead of driving the lane I will be driving the aisles, instead of getting checked I will be at the check-out, instead of filling the basket I will be filling a shopping basket! Madness!

I moaned and moaned and moaned until I gave in moaning and accepted the fact that I would be bag packing, which I now think isn’t that bad after all.

If I didn’t moan then I wouldn’t love the game but part of loving the game is doing all the wee behind the scenes stuff and if that involves bag packing then I’m all for it.

And you never know, maybe a nice wee check out girl will be scanning my number.

Wonder if she believes in magic?


-Lessons On The Old River

I am taking up some harmonica lessons at Stow College on a Monday night with the Glasgow Fiddle Workshop.

I have been playing the mouthie for over a year now but it’s mostly novelty tunes that I do and whilst I think I am pretty decent on it, past beginner but not quite expert, I do think there are things that I could learn from a tutor that may be more beneficial than watching Youtube videos and reading books.

I just can’t wait for the bit where I get introduced and asked to play.

Twinkle Twinkle anyone?



Where are you new jeans? Where are you new jeans? Where are you new jeans?