The Daily Dott - Tuesday - Pessimistically Optimistic

The authors name is Laurence Shorter...but has he short changed me?

The doldrums of the self help section in Borders is surely a place that all worried, anxious, concerned and partly depressed people find themselves...something, anything, a glimmer of hope within the pages, just to change their lives, even it only lasts until the book is finished.

Last night I found myself in that section.

Yet, I have always been quietly sceptical about self help books, call it my inner cynicism, because it's not really self help if your taking in the words of someone else. Is it?

I scanned the books, smirking at some of the titles and how the authors claimed to be able to change ones outlook on life. But one particular book caught my eye, 'The Optimist,' so I picked it up for a thorough examination.

On the front cover it has a cartoon drawing of a man walking up a hill, with a blue cloud over his head and the words 'One Man's Search For The Brighter Side Of Life' written in the inside of the cloud.

On the back, however, it didn't seem too appealing, the blurb only said...Conflict in the Middle East...genocide in Africa...collapsing stock markets...today we face a greater range of potential disasters than ever before.

Sure, I thought. But I don't stay in Africa, or the middle East and I have no shares in any stocks. How is this going to help me?

But one should never judge a book by it's cover, right?

So I opened up the book and started to read the first few pages, it was then that I found myself agreeing with everything the author said. And maybe that was a trap I was falling into because the first few pages should be inviting...here is some excerpts from those pages;

***

A car revved up outside. I pictured the BMWs and Mercs along the street, beaded with dew, ready to be driven to their places of work by people who leapt out of bed every morning. How did they do it? I stared hopelessly at the ceiling. What was wrong with me?

This air of gloom, this lack of motivation : it was nothing to do with me. It was the news! The BBC – which we invited into our house every morning like an honoured guest – was piping depression and anxiety straight into my bedroom.

And if you claimed that it wasn't so bad they would always ask you why? As if we need reasons to be OK. And then they would give you that sardonic look that only pessimists can – as if to say, do you know how uncool it is to be cheerful.

***

I was sold because I shared his views on the news being depressing, the way they 'channel' negativity and I was also excited about how he was going to go about becoming more optimistic.

But one cannot be sold until he knows the price...and therein lies another trap of self help books.

Being in that section, I was already aware of the sympathetic glances I was getting from the worker stacking shelves next to me and as the book cleverly displayed no price on the back, I had no other option but to ask. When she returned from scanning the bar code she revealed the price...a whopping £10.99! For a book!

The expression on my face already told the woman that I was clearly thrown by this absurd cost but I opened my mouth anyway, “Awww, that's quite dear and I was reading the first few pages as well and enjoying it, books are quite costly what's the average price of a book in here anyway? She replied, “about, £6.99”

Wow! I thought to myself, books really are expensive.

I hummed and hawed with this book in my hand, should I pay that amount for a book?

Fuck it, I went to the checkout with the book in my hand and decided to share a joke with the cashier, a pre mediated one of course, “I can't believe I'm paying £10.99 for a book, I'm being the pessimist buying the optimist!” He laughed, “well if it makes things any better I don't have any £5 notes either."

I wasn't too bothered about the lack of notes though, and there I was, walking out of the book shop, not exactly short changed - because I had more smash in my pockets than a homeless man's coffee cup!

But still feeling as though something wasn't quite right about this book.

When I got home I continued to read from the place I left at the bookshop and I still couldn't falter it, and I was still agreeing with the authors views.

It wasn't long before I finally grasped what the book was about because as I mentioned earlier the blurb didn't give too much away.

This guy is on a quest to visit the worlds most famous optimists ( Bill Clinton, being one) and discover what it is that makes them view the world positively. In this quest he is also hoping to answer the worlds problems so that no one around him feels negative or bad about what's going on.

The authors name is Laurence Shorter...no, he hasn't short changed me instead he might just actually change me.

It's The Daily...that was one hell of an intro...

• Last Big Issue
• Headstrong
• Seagulls

• Last Big Issue

The call for the last big issue is the one that everybody hears because the homeless person will often make a song and a dance about this one being their last - even though they will return the next day with another stack to sell!

However, one does feel obliged when it's the last one because it may mean that the poor chap gets to go home after his long arduous day on the streets. But still, it's no excuse for the seller to physically force the issue (no pun intended) upon other people.

I was quite startled and annoyed to see one seller push the issue upon people who walked past him, he really must have wanted to get rid of it that bad as he was pushing it onto the chests of people who walked past him.

Well, if he continues like that and crosses the wrong person, it may very well be, his last Big Issue!

• Headstrong
  

My brother takes ages to make a decision about buying things, that coffee machine he always talks about, he has been meaning to buy for other a year now so I wish he would just buy the bloody thing and stop talking about it!

His latest non purchase is some hair growth gel or pills, I know I am being vague, but I stopped listening a few months back.

The funny thing is, he isn't even going bald so there is no real reason for him to buy this crap.

I fully expect him to be talking about this in a years time too, just like the coffee machine, but hopefully it's not something he's going to, ahem, lose hair over!

• Seagulls

When was the last time you seen a seagull at the sea side? A sensible reply would be the last time you were at the sea side.

But then, the last time I seen a seagull, I was actually just walking down the street.

I bet there is more 'sea' gulls in the city.

Someone at the BBC ( I don't know why the BBC) or the RSPCA even, needs to re-name these birds – citygulls because that's where they seem to be these days.

Why don't they just flock off?

Only Mohammed Knows

:D